At one point in my life, I was in the best physical shape I had ever been in. I was rock solid, strong, and felt confident as hell. Then, life happened. Slowly but surely I lost my mojo. Here we are 5 years later and I still struggle to find it. I make a lot of excuses about finding time (the oldest one in the book). Old photos will pop up and remind me of the brick shithouse I once was and depending on the day, I'll either smile with pride at them or feel really bummed out that I gave up and lost all of the hard work I put in.
On Monday, I went "back to the gym" for, oh I don't know, the 3rd time this year. I did a leg workout because that is where my strength lies. I always feel on top of the world when I do what I do best. Let me tell you, I still have it. Muscle memory is a thing, but so is mojo memory (I think I just coined that term, but hey). I still love the rush I get from adding weight to my next set. I still feel the hunger to go harder than the last set. I still feel powerful (kinda).
Two days later, my legs are screaming at me. It hurts to sit, then it hurts to stand back up. Bending down to pick something up feels like I might be stuck in that hinge position forever. And getting out of bed feels like an Olympic challenge. Oof!
Pain is weakness leaving the body.
Despite feeling awesome about that workout, I have also been feeling discouraged, reflecting on that day in the gym and all the women I saw that are where I used to be - in the best shape ever. That led me down a rabbit hole of self sabotaging last night. I wasn't being very nice to myself with my thoughts. This morning, as I got out of bed, I thought sh********t my legs are killing me! I hobbled down the stairs, holding the railing for dear life, and went on with my morning in pain (good pain).
HELLO! BUELLER! (my 80's and 90's kids will get it)
Me to me: You still have it! The mojo, the power, the drive; all of it. The soreness has humbled me, yet reminded me that all the years of hard work are still there; just under a couple of layers of fluff. So, now it's up to me to push myself back into a routine that will turn into a habit. Maybe if they add a taco bar to the front desk? Kidding...(sort of, haha! No but seriously, imagine a taco bar?!)
There's a couple of morals in today's blurb. The first is that pain isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes, it's just weakness leaving your body (and also a wake up call to get off your ass and change the things that are making you feel less than). The second is to remember to be nice to yourself, no matter what shape you are in. Your body is just the shell that houses the person you are on the inside. If you aren't in the best shape of your life on the inside, the outside doesn't even matter.
Love & Light,
Jessica
The Candid Beauty
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